Enemy Within

I was thinking today that I often forget that there are more than polar opposites pulling for my soul. There is the enemy of my soul, of whom is a mystery and terribly fearful yet something we are protected from by God's grace, and there is His heavenly spirit that gives voice to God's will and direction, comfort, and consolation to our soul. There is also that which lies within. There is a part of me that is an enemy toward the best God would have for me; some part of me that is selfish, deceptive, and low. I think when we make all those internal feelings to be something that is purely from Hell and has nothing to do with us, an outside influence only, then we become more susceptible to our own cunning and decay.

I have to acknowledge that there is a part of me, "ME," that is unhealthy, worldly, and sinful. They are not just impulses fed to me by dark minions. There is something there, in my soul, that they can tug on, some ground they have access to. You see, in thinking of it that way it is easier to defend. By knowing that there is territory to which I am weak, a part of me that is faulted deeply, I can support it and defend it more accurately.

There seems to be this great urge to think otherwise. If that were the case, we could feel happier being the neutral party to this cosmic spiritual war. But that is not the case; we are very much involved. I am not just selfish because the enemy plants seeds of that nature and whispers thoughts into my head, empty as it were if that were the case. No. I, the internal me I call I, is selfish and decaying. I must call upon God to aid and support a broken vessel, not just mend what someone else broke. There is a greater calling there; a higher realization and hope. There is a fuller image of my humanity in that thought that gives me food to ponder: to ponder, to prepare for, and to plan.