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Sunday, March 02, 2008

Identity

I tend to have strong beliefs about things; religion, politics, logic, art, pop culture. And you know, I have come to learn that this should not be the case. There, I said it, actually got it out onto the keyboard and into this dialog box despite the need for my mind to work out the best of all possible ways to say it. It's kept me from a lot of writing, that personality flaw, should see some progress as I work away from it. But back to my opinionated nature, no better way to put that. Nothing, it seems, is the source of more of my problems that this one trait. Which is why it should be at the forefront of my striving to become a better person.

Hold one moment while I upload this week's sermon: If you would like to check it out, I highly recommend it, Tom Rupp was our special speaker and he did a marvelous job, really spoke to my heart, and is perhaps part of the force behind this reevaluation. [brb] Bridge Community Church

Where to find Tom's talk

While that's uploading... I don't mean to make light of this with that little aside and I am not trying to be cavalier about this.
But it seems true that stress at work, between personnel, at home, on the road, in discussions, on topics of taste and preference, in games, well, I think the picture begins to solidify, should be a focus of my change.

What do I know anyway. I will put that down right here and make it a part of my life pattern for the time being, just short of tattooing it to my wrist. Do I know that much about movies, books, or even politics? Do I know that much about debates, arguments, discussion topics, or theories thereof? I need to start answering NO.

I know some things about some stuff, but who cares. I am distancing myself so much from the people I care about and for what?! Something I think I might know something about... not the most definitive statement ever made to be sure.

What I need to do is start valuing the moments over the knowledge, the relationships over my interpretations, the joy of existing over what other people insist on doing with their lives and to other people. Even to ME. What should I care if some guy somewhere, in a car, store, or whatever, doesn't care a wit about me, his surroundings, the people that work at a place, or the people on the road with them, who should care? The authorities. They get paid to and are good at what they do. The managers. They want to allow reckless, disgusting, embarrassing behavior in their store, it's their store.

The liberation in acknowledging "what do I know?" can only be rivaled by the freedom Christ gives me to be me. I will be no less me by changing this way that I live, Christ will be with me, even MORE with me because "ME" will get in the way less of my expression of love for others. I think ultimately that was one of my fears, but if this "altered yet still me" me gets along with others better, enjoys work (employees and customers) to its fullest, rides home everyday thinking more about the blessings of breath than about the lanes that are changed, then how wonderful that me might someday be.

And although those opinions have been part of my identity, they won't be there to get in the way of my happiness and joy for life.

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